Waves

 Those waves are back. Those damn waves.

 They aren’t always gut punch I’m-going-to die-sobbing waves.  Sometimes something will remind me of a time with Teddi that I had forgotten. A happier wave if you will.

Truth be told I had a hard time bonding with Teddi. At times she tested my boundaries and certainly my patience ~ for which I am notoriously not good at.

But we did have moments. Moments when she would sit close to me on the couch and help me write or snuggle down into my blanket. 

She even stayed in bed with me when I had COVID one Christmas.

Times when we were in the car, she in her comfy car bed strapped in, buckled in the front seat next to me. She would shake and pant and look to me for reassurance. I would talk to her and she would calm down. A couple of times she almost fell asleep.

But it was Vet visits (of which there were many) when I could see that she loved me, that she trusted me. Although she was often poked and prodded, they all loved her there and she them. She trusted them and she trusted me to put her in their hands. 

And when she returned to me in the lobby and recognized me the little tail would wag and she couldn’t wait to be back in my arms.

One particular Vet visit memory came to me last night and gave me some comfort. Maybe you sent that memory, Ted? The Doctor had a concern about Teddi’s gall bladder and needed to do an ultrasound.

“Will she feel more comfortable sitting on your lap during the procedure? Are you comfortable with that?”

“Yes and yes.” 

So the procedure began. Teddi had high blood pressure (she was on medication for that) and certain situations could stress her out and raise her BP. As a human with a similar malady I could relate…

At one point the Doctor said, “Her blood pressure is rising. Talk to her.”

So I offered some words of love, some words of encouragement.

Doctor – “Her blood pressure has dropped ten points, within normal range now. Good job!” 

That was the moment I knew Teddi and I had a bond.

Thank you, Teddi ~ wherever you are ~ for bringing me that memory. You were not just any dog. You were, indeed, incredibly special.

We did have a bond. Thank you for reminding me that in between hello and goodbye there was love. So much love.