It's Kind of a Big Deal ~ This 2014 Thing.

2014. I read an intriguing question the other day. It simply said, "What would you do this year if you knew you only had this one year left to live?"  Wow.

This year is momentous on a personal level. 

In April I will celebrate 5 years in business with the Whee Ones® and cmh design LLC.

In September I will mark my 40th Anniversary living in my adopted home state of Colorado. (And 21 years married - 21... Vegas, baby)

In November I will turn 60 years old.

All of that, I would say, is cause for celebration and reflection. I've not really had time to do the reflecting part and the celebrations are in the offing.

But here is what I know:

* I am feeling that 5 year restlessness and wanderlust that sometimes comes with that 5 year mark of owning a business. I still like what I do. I am grateful to my shopkeepers and my customers. What I struggle with is the feeling that no matter how hard I work, I'm just kind of spinning my wheels. And the "making money" part?  Ha - that's funny. The "Oh it must be so nice to work at home and whenever you want" part? Ha - that's even funnier! So while I have no plan yet, I feel change in the wind. Maybe small; maybe not. I love what my friend Susan said to me once ~ life should be fluid.

* I love creating. I love new ideas and new projects. I love learning. Those things will never stop as long as I draw breath.

* I love Colorado but if you were to ask me at this time of year why I love it, I would respond, "Why am I not living within walking distance of the nearest beach where temps are about 85?" (Florida is out. Unless perhaps we talk Key West...) There's that wanderlust thing again...

* Colorado has been a blessing. I raised my boys here and I [hope] they had some fun growing up wandering the hills and valleys. I don't get to the mountains much these days (the reason I moved here - thank you very much, John Denver - in 1974), but I sure did in the past. Now I'm more citified and I get to galleries, museums, restaurants, delightful little shops and events around town more. 

* Colorado is by far one of the most beautiful places in the country to live and it [usually] has a very temperate climate. I fell in love with the big open blindingly blue sky and swear I can never live anywhere that doesn't have this same sky. 

* 60. I have no idea how to feel about that. I know that it used to sound old to me; now it sounds like a good friend; because most of mine are 60, or at least close. I do know that it has - already - prompted me to think some deep thoughts. Usually at the oddest times. Or to tear up. Usually at the oddest times. (And I am not a crier.) I don't know if that means I'm sensing my mortality or what. Whatever it is I want it to pass but I suspect it will be with me for at least most of this year.

* I know I do not like receiving mail inviting me to check out the new Assisted Living complex down the road. What year are we in? When did turning 60 mean you're ready for The Home?

* It's a scary thought to think that - best case scenario - 2/3 of my life is behind me. If longevity is in my genes and I'm a little kinder to my body than I have been I could have another 30 years. My Mom is 95 and going strong. But maybe I do hear the clock ticking a little... I really do need to make the most of each day. And for Pete's sake get this idea that I must always be doing something productive out of my head and out of my life. Period.

All that said:

* I promise myself to eat fewer potatoes. Potatoes are bad. Mashed potatoes are my crack. Only green veggies for 2014.
* I promise to take a little time each day to do something I enjoy on a personal level. Not domestic chores, not work, not taking care of the pets... something I enjoy just for fun.
* I promise to find a way to incorporate more travel into my life. There's always a way.
* And I say this every damn year - I promise to find balance between my professional life and my personal life.
* I promise to shoot more. Dust off some of my cameras and lenses I don't use and put them in a regular rotation. Shoot randomly. Shoot with a purpose. Just shoot.
* I promise to take more day trips.

And not one mention of the resolutions I made every year for the longest time ~~ quit smoking (I did in 1999); lose weight (I lost 28.5 lbs. in the last quarter of 2013); cut back on drinking (I love my wine, but yes, I have cut back); exercise more (Kizzie gets me out for 3 walks a day and that will improve as the weather improves!).

I promise to blog more. It's really just kind of a journal so I probably say too much - forgetting that the world sees this. But maybe I will reach someone who can relate. Or at least be humoured. Thanks for listening.

xoxo, me

Adios 2013. You Were Quite the Ride...

Before we are too far into 2014 and I tell myself I don't have time for this because there are 10 other things I am "supposed" to be doing ~ I want to reflect for a moment on 2013. Most of it was as unlucky as one might expect with the number 13 involved...

I think it all started with Boda.

When my son moved to Austin in May it wasn't in the cards to take Boda Kitty with him so The Mister and I happily welcomed her into our family. Four days later after our Vet discovered cancer and a large mass on her liver, we said an extremely tearful goodbye to beautiful Boda.

My son leaving and moving out of state was emotional for me as well. After college he had opted to live near home and for the first time in my 22 year relationship with my husband, we had no children in town. We were truly empty-nesters. Not that any of that is bad; it was just an adjustment. 

June, July and August brought biopsies and ultrasounds and diagnostic tests to see if, indeed, cancer was roaming around my body. I'm the lucky one; it wasn't. But the whole summer was fraught with stress, anxiety and fear.

September rolled around and we knew that our time with our beloved 16 year old dog, Simba, was coming to an end. Our girl just wasn't there anymore. Our Vet suspected a brain tumour as messages from her brain just weren't getting thru. She couldn't remember how to go up steps and eventually she couldn't remember how to eat. On September 3 we made one of the most devastating decisions we have ever had to make and said a final goodbye to our sweet girl. The grief was overwhelming and consumed us for days. We didn't know how - or why - the world kept on spinning...

For some reason ~ who knows why except maybe The Universe thought we deserved a break ~ things took a turn for the better near the end of September. We took a trip ~ one that had been planned for months but the timing was perfect ~ we needed new scenery and a reason to celebrate. And celebrate we did! We, and 100 of her closest's friends, celebrated the life of someone so dear, so loved ~ my Mom, happy and healthy, as she turned 95.

The clouds started clearing and the sun broke thru after that. Life began to look a little happier. That is probably what led us to almost instinctively and on auto-pilot stop by the local shelter one evening and walk thru the dog kennels. We didn't speak of it but we both knew -- we were not leaving without a dog. And indeed, it was Kismet.

And in that moment, life changed. Everything changed. Joy came into our lives as she jumped deep into our hearts, settled in and opened up shop.

A month later the puppets I had shed blood, sweat and tears (literally!) over from January thru March came to life in the form of an Apple iPad App called Puppet Play. And there was my name for all to see. Wow.

Later that month my Austin son made a visit and our time together was like putting on old slippers and wrapping a warm blanket around us.

The Mister and I closed out the year alone - together - doing our favorite things ~ watching movies, making delicious food ~ relaxing and taking time off from our crazy, hectic work lives.

And then there was the surprise of the year ~ losing 28 lbs (and counting). All due to giving up dairy, chocolate, eggs, most gluten and most soy. Who knew? 

So a year that ~ for the most part ~ sucked, it turned out alright. My faith in love and luck and laughter has been restored. Gratitude for good friends and a loving family in place. Even though my sons, now adults, recognize I am flawed, they like me anyway. The Mister is still my best friend and confidant. My love for my little dog is ridiculous. Now two days into 2014 I am still pondering where I want to go in this brave new year, who I want to be. 

So that post is on hold for the time being.  Adios 2013. It was a ride.

Be Kind to One Another

When I left Iowa at 19 I spent a short stint in Canada then moved to Colorado. Since September of 1974 I have called it my home. So I have officially celebrated my 39th year in my adopted home state. And over those 39 years I have made a LOT of road trips across the vast state of Nebraska to visit my family in central Iowa. In the early years it was just cheaper than flying with little kids. In the later years it was because we couldn't bear to be without our Boo for a week, so she always traveled with us.

After our trip in 2012 we knew that she didn't enjoy traveling that far anymore. So even before we knew she wouldn't be with us for the 2013 trip we had decided to leave her home in the loving care of our pet-sitter. Sadly she didn't make it that long.

I told The Mister that if I had to travel by car across Nebraska one more time my head would explode. (No offense, Nebraska peeps - it's just a very long, straight road to drive with the same scenery for 39 years.  Yikes.)

So we decided to fly ~ but also mix it up a little and see some country we haven't seen that much of.  We decided to fly into Minneapolis, spend some time there and rent a car to make the three hour drive to Mom in central Iowa.

We left our home at 5:45 am last Saturday (taking time to make breakfast and weigh our bags.) We parked in the outlying airport parking, snagging a parking spot 40 feet from the bus stop. Oh and as luck would have it, the shuttle bus pulled up right behind us. And we arrived at Denver International Airport as the sun rose.

Someone had booked our seats in the emergency exit row where there is no place to stash your bag under the seat in front of you. I'm a girl. I have to have my stuff.

 

So we joked with the ticket agent and bingo bango - we have better seats. The Mister thanked him for saving our marriage. 

We were fortunate to be among the first to board and our flight attendant instructed everyone as to their designated spot for carry-ons. She requested we put ours under the seats in front of us. (She and I got along fine.) I watched her as the remainder of the plane boarded. She was friendly and smiled but every inch of her 5' 100 lb. frame was all business. If she told you that was your overhead bin space, you listened. She joked and called herself "Judy the Baggage Nazi."

Get this - the pilot came out and talked to everyone. First thought, of course, omg the flight is delayed. Quite the contrary ~ he was welcoming us all and said if it was alright, we would be departing a bit early.  We arrived in Minneapolis 20 minutes ahead of schedule. As we left the plane I paused to thank Judy the Baggage Nazi and told her I had never been on such an organized flight!

Next step was to pick up our rental car. Someone had requested the wrong size car so the Hyundai Sonata we had hoped for wasn't available. Again, humour and patience paid off. The girl at Avis went above and beyond to find one for us. We waited. She came back and said, "You've got your Sonata!  I stole it from Budget."  

The Mister to our Avis agent, "Don't you own Budget?"

Me to our Avis agent, "You do now!"

Again The Mister thanked her for saving our marriage and we left fast friends.

So we check in to the Marriott (10 minutes from the airport) and have an afternoon to kill. Mall of America (MOA) is across the street, so what the hell ~ let's go see what all the fuss is about. We're walking, we're walking, we're walking. We stop in a few shops. A new carry-on bag with a padded shoulder strap was in order; my shoulders were killing me.  (Hey my carry-on was heavy but both checked in bags were 36 lbs and well under the weigh limit!)

I love handbags but I've never been into name brand bags. I'm more of a Marshall's/Kohl's whatever bag is on sale gal. But over the years my Mom-in-law and BFF/SIL have sent a few Vera Bradley's my way and I think they are kind of works of art. So when walking into the Hallmark store in MOA looking for something else, I stopped by the colorful Vera Bradley section in the front of the store. The bags aren't within my normal budget but I did fall in love with an extremely colorful one. (As Emile Zola said, "If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I, an artist will answer you: I am here to live out loud!") When I saw it had a padded shoulder strap, the deal was done. However... I kind of wanted to see the rest of collection in that pattern and theirs was limited. 

I asked the friendly clerk about that and she said if I really wanted to see all of them the Vera Bradley store was one floor down. And she said it genuinely and with a smile. So I finally found the store, took a quick look around and promptly took myself back to the Hallmark store and the nice lady and bought the bag from her.  Because she had been generous and honest and kind.

Considering every loop around MOA is a mile, we did our 5 miles. We found the delightful Napa Grille and plopped our sorry tired behinds down in seats on their patio. Our friendly server brought us our kale, chicken, roasted butternut squash and goat cheese salads. They were quite yum.

And so began our salad tour of the Midwest. And the oh so healthy side of fries almost every time.

As we were leaving I found our server to thank her and I found myself saying something Charlie's Gannie always said - what his Mother always says - "Have a happy life, sweetheart."

 

The Mister and I remarked as we were saying good night that wasn't it interesting how smoothly the day had gone. Even with a couple of bumps kindness begat kindness; laughter begat laughter and patience paid off.

 

There's a lesson there, grasshopper.

 

Just Go With It.

I promised myself I wouldn't whine about the snow again today.  It started snowing yesterday afternoon, continued thru the night and is still coming down at 9 am. And it's April 23.

That kind of sounded like whining, didn't it?  Ok, so my whining reminds me of a quote I read recently:

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on Earth. Then I ask myself the same question."
*Harun Yahya*

As much as I yearn to live near the big blue ocean 

and aspire to live that quote ~ and I do in my head ~ in real life it's not practical.  Gah.  I hate being practical. 

The mister and I have jobs, we have a home, we have four-legged people with fur, we have elderly parents ~ all of whom depend on us to be there when they need us.  We have responsibilities.

I'm the lucky one who can do what I do from anywhere in the country.  And although the mister can access clients from anywhere in the country, he also needs to be available to be on site physically when needed.

I am realizing that at almost 60 some of my dreams may have to remain just that ~ dreams.  My days of changing things in my life every three or four years are gone.  We know now that - providing we are fortunate to stay in good health - we have about 15+ years to work like hell and bank it.  We are the type of people who will never "retire" because we love what we do.  But someday it will be nice to slow the pace a bit; take a little more time off to spend near my beloved oceans.

So I had a bit of an epiphany this morning. The quote "Bloom where you are planted" is so cliche and a bit saccharin for my taste but it's kind of where I'm at.  

And I could be in worse places. Denver is a cool city

We are a short drive from the gorgeous mountains I moved here for 39 years ago

And at the end of my street I have space to wander 

I'm a two hour flight from the Pacific I love

So for the next few years we will feather our nest and make our home completely ours, exactly how we want it.  (Finally)

We will make a concerted effort to balance work and play more

And remember that life can change in a heartbeat.  And when you make plans, God laughs. And everything I just wrote could be irrelevant tomorrow.

See?  I still thrive on change.  Gah.

Paris. Wait. What?

I never wanted to go to Paris.  I don't have anything against Paris ~ or France for that matter.  It was just never on my radar.  

So no one was more surprised than me when the other day ~ I think I was doing laundry ~ and the Eiffel Tower just popped into my head.  Not literally because yowza that would sting.  But the image of the Eiffel Tower just drifted thru my mind.  

Two days later I received an email from my BFF/SIL ~ who always has wonderful ideas and the most vivid imagination ~ saying she and her mister and my mister (her brother) and I should do a London/Paris trip.  Oh and maybe throw in Ireland as well.

Last night while waiting for our yummy Chinese delivery the mister says ~ out of nowhere ~ "I think we should go to Paris."  

You know how things happen in threes.  And that will make you sit up and pay attention.  And as someone who truly does believe in signs and truly does believe that what one thinks about will truly manifest itself, this was getting serious.  So I shared what had been happening (my Eiffel Tower head and his sister's email) and all of a sudden we knew what we wanted to do to celebrate our 20th Anniversary.  

We had talked about Vegas.  But we've been there 9 times and most recently just last Christmas.  Sorry Vegas.  We had talked about San Francisco ~ as you saw in my previous post we love it there.  But we've been there four times (or more) so sorry Lucas, Val, Chick, Bob, Tracy, David.  We had talked about a Caribbean cruise, but we've done that twice.  Sorry Caribbean. We had talked about Vancouver Island but we've done that.  Sorry Mike and Chris, but you're coming to Paris with us.

And to think the closest I ever thought I would be to Paris is this:

(ala Lensbaby)

(ala Polaroid - the real Polaroid)

(ala Polaroid again - the real Polaroid)

(ala Lensbaby)

All of these pix, of course, being the Paris Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas.  :)

It may all be pie in the sky, but I hope not. At 58 I think it is about time I see some of Europe ~ while I can still walk and hold a camera steady. And who knows, London and Ireland are not off the table yet...

And if it doesn't come to pass we're going to have a lot of fun planning and thinking about it. But I hope it does.

This morning the mister and I have noticed a little more lilt in our step, a few more smiles on our faces and this feeling that we have this delicious little secret.

Oops.  Guess I blew that one, didn't I?  ;-)  Mornin' peeps!