To Everything There is a Season

 Is it climate change? Or is it aging?

Well I know for sure that climate change is happening because the berries on the trees in my front yard used to turn orange, then red, then fall off the tree in late September. This year I noticed them beginning to turn orange in late July. By early August they were turning red and by mid-August they were falling off the trees. 

My studio window faces southeast. Typically summer sunrises are out of my reach and don’t come about until mid to late September. November and December bring the most brilliant sunrises… I got lucky this morning and caught a pink sunrise – only for a moment. I don’t accredit that to climate change as much as a fluke, but nowadays? Who knows.

I am sensitive to the seasons and grateful that I live in a place where we have seasonal changes. But those seasons are changing. I feel it. The summers are hotter and drier; the winters colder and drier, yet with bursts of surprise blizzards. Fall lately seems to come a bit earlier and sometimes stay a bit longer. Which is fine by me as it is my favorite season. Spring is fleeting and that makes me sad.

 I tend to nest and hibernate when the weather turns cooler – and I relish that. I can’t wait for that. Maybe my Norwegian/Danish genes are why I am so drawn to Hygge. This year – here we are, mid-August and I’m craving Hygge.

 Or is it 70 in the offing?

 I recently read:

“Research has shown that when people get older, they commonly recalibrate their goals. Though they might be doing less, they tend to prioritize what they find meaningful and appreciate. A decline in openness to new experiences could reflect someone relishing their routine rather than seeking new thrills… a decline in extroversion could indicate they are satisfied spending time with people they already love.”

I’ve never claimed to be an extrovert, quite the opposite. But I can relate to that statement. I’m settled. I’m content. I do what brings me joy. I spend time with causes and people (and animals, of course) who bring me joy. And I am oh so grateful to have the gift of time to do all of that.

Climate change and aging. There is some symmetry there.

Roll the Dice

So I don't know if its this relentless winter (which brings on cabin fever and I know so many of you can relate...) or I feel I'm missing the passion I usually have for my projects... Or is it the [I think] really sweet thing Facebook did today. In celebrating 10 years of Facebook they did a little video - music and everything - of your personal timeline with your first updates, most liked posts and photos thru your years on Facebook.  

Or if it is an interview I read with Maria Shriver where she quoted a commencement speech she gave awhile back (and I'm paraphrasing):

"Take time to recognize the power of pause -- the importance of stopping and evaluating where you are in life."

She went on to say that sometimes people will say to her, "Remember that?" and she will think "I don't. I was too busy."  

She commented how important it is to slow your life down and find out if you are actually living the life you are meant to live. It's your job to know who you are, to know your value, your mission and what makes you happy so you know what you're supposed to be doing here.  

All of this compounded one upon the other today and it was like a huge wake-up call. Or at least a sit-down-and-really-think-about-this call.

As I stated in a prior post, this isn't exactly a new thought for me. Five years in business, 40 years in Colorado, 21 years married and turning 60 - 2014 is a thought-provoking year.

I shared with my Mister last night that I'm going to take time to think, reflect, evaluate and look to the future. We both have aging parents who need our help. Granted my Mom is 750 miles away but if she needs me I'll be there in a heartbeat. His parents are local and there is more I could be doing for them.

Aging - gez, we have our own aging cat who at almost 21 years old sure could use some more of my love and attention. Oh, A-choo...

And although Kizzie is a very good little girl, I sometimes forget that she isn't a puppy - she will be 6 years old in April. She won't be here forever and I want to enjoy every minute I can with her.

She came into our lives a mere 4 months ago. I regret that I didn't know her sooner so I could have loved her longer. I have said the same about my husband; I didn't meet him until I was 35...

And yes, as I stare down 60 I am aging, too. I find myself really questioning ~ what is my mission?

When I watched my little Facebook Timeline video I was struck by how, with the exception of one, my top-ranking "liked" posts were work-related; as were almost all of my photographs. That was an eye-opener. A friend joked that this was my Jacob Marley moment. I laughed, but thought ~ whoa, he may have something there...

I'm married to a guy who works hard, works a lot and enjoys what he does. So I work hard, I work a lot and - for the most part - enjoy what I do. But I see how work has taken over my life. And even though I created this "monster" there really is more I want to do.

I just have to figure out what that is exactly and channel it. And get this pervasive thought that I must always be productive out of my fricking head.

I get one roll of the dice. 

We all get one roll of the dice. We owe it to ourselves to make it a good one. It's all a crap shoot ~ but I think we can chant our lucky chants, kiss the die and guide them down the table a little...

Just Go With It.

I promised myself I wouldn't whine about the snow again today.  It started snowing yesterday afternoon, continued thru the night and is still coming down at 9 am. And it's April 23.

That kind of sounded like whining, didn't it?  Ok, so my whining reminds me of a quote I read recently:

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on Earth. Then I ask myself the same question."
*Harun Yahya*

As much as I yearn to live near the big blue ocean 

and aspire to live that quote ~ and I do in my head ~ in real life it's not practical.  Gah.  I hate being practical. 

The mister and I have jobs, we have a home, we have four-legged people with fur, we have elderly parents ~ all of whom depend on us to be there when they need us.  We have responsibilities.

I'm the lucky one who can do what I do from anywhere in the country.  And although the mister can access clients from anywhere in the country, he also needs to be available to be on site physically when needed.

I am realizing that at almost 60 some of my dreams may have to remain just that ~ dreams.  My days of changing things in my life every three or four years are gone.  We know now that - providing we are fortunate to stay in good health - we have about 15+ years to work like hell and bank it.  We are the type of people who will never "retire" because we love what we do.  But someday it will be nice to slow the pace a bit; take a little more time off to spend near my beloved oceans.

So I had a bit of an epiphany this morning. The quote "Bloom where you are planted" is so cliche and a bit saccharin for my taste but it's kind of where I'm at.  

And I could be in worse places. Denver is a cool city

We are a short drive from the gorgeous mountains I moved here for 39 years ago

And at the end of my street I have space to wander 

I'm a two hour flight from the Pacific I love

So for the next few years we will feather our nest and make our home completely ours, exactly how we want it.  (Finally)

We will make a concerted effort to balance work and play more

And remember that life can change in a heartbeat.  And when you make plans, God laughs. And everything I just wrote could be irrelevant tomorrow.

See?  I still thrive on change.  Gah.

Our Time.

So after my morning ritual (see previous post although I added doing dishes, throwing in a load of laundry and cleaning up puppy puke and... well we don't have to go into great detail on that last one...) I sat down to write and thought, "I've got nothin'."

So I'm writing about having nothing to write about. Thinking about my kids ~ one visiting Germany with his wife right now; the other preparing to make a big move with his fiancée. They're all moving on and moving forward with their lives and I'm happy for them all.  That's what kids are supposed to do, right?  

And for the first time in our marriage - in our relationship of 22 years - the mister and I will be on our own.  We have a few months before that comes to pass, but we're transitioning and trying the idea on for size ~ that this is our time now.

Of course we miss the kids and think of them daily but the idea of being on our own ~ just as they are ~ is an intriguing one.  And I think we're going to make it.  :)  I think we're going to have fun being empty-nesters.

I mean, what's the alternative?  

And besides I'm sure we will always have four-legged children with fur.  Maybe not these two forever, but there will always be someone puking somewhere in the house.  

And that is where my free writing took me today.

Four-Legged People with Fur

Cats and dogs have been a part of my family my entire adult life ~ all of them rescues.  But I've never had any of them live as long as A-choo and Simba. Well, Ames, the cat came close - he was 15 when we said good-bye.  But Simba at 15.5 and A-choo at 20... well, they are the current record holders.  

And boy, do they require attention.  I feel like I have a couple of toddlers in the house again.  They follow me wherever I go (even the bathroom!). They constantly want to be fed and, gah, are they are picky eaters.   They like their naps. They pee a lot. They get me up in the middle of the night and early morning hours are routine.  A day doesn't go by that someone doesn't have an "accident" or pukes somewhere in the house.

But...

I find if I don't hear them snoring at night, I lie awake worrying.

When I walk past them I have to stop until I am sure they are breathing.  Simba lost her hearing about a year ago so we have our own little sign language.  Her eyesight is fading but the one sense she has always used the most - her sense of smell - is sharper than ever.  Her nickname of Sniffy McSnifferson is well-deserved ~ sniff every blade of grass, every snowflake.  Trust me ~ a walk with her will never garner a cardio workout!

If A-choo doesn't wake me up at 4am crying to be fed, I think she's dead.  Oh and I promised to explain her nickname ~ Cry Baby Ranch.  In the past year she has become quite vocal and her way of getting my attention is to cry relentlessly - until I feed her.  So I started calling her Cry Baby.  Then it evolved into Cry Baby Ranch because there is a funky, fun store on Larimer Street in Denver called Cry Baby Ranch.  So now it makes total sense, right?

They require a lot of attention and a lot of patience.  But I ask you how could you possibly resist these little faces??  I know their time with us is limited ~ and I am so grateful for the joy and laughter and unconditional love they have given us over the years...  

Hug your critters today and ~

Mornin' peeps!  Y

Birthdays and Aging and History

It's my sweetie's 54th birthday today.  The 22nd one I've spent with him.  So that thing I said about time being fleeting.  Hell yes it is.  Wow.

He was actually 31 when I met him; but as we were learning about each other and he discovered I was 36 he lied and said he was 36, too.  He turned 32 a month later and I think I began to suspect something was amiss then.  By that time it didn't matter.  I was too far gone.

When I met him he was younger than both my sons are now in 2013.  That is how fricking fast time goes.  (They are 36 and 33 now.)  And yet ~ I don't feel much older than when we met.  Of course, looking in the mirror reality smacks me upside the head on that one. 

Thinking about aging always brings to mind a line from "Meet Joe Black." Anthony Hopkins (as William Parrish) toasts the crowd assembled for his birthday saying, "And I'm going to break precedence and tell you my one candle wish:  that you would have a life, as lucky as mine where you can wake up one morning and say, 'I don't want anything more.' 65 years, don't they go by in a blink?"

And to that I say ~ hell yes they do.  

So Charlie and I are going to take a big bite out of life today.  Or at least go to lunch.  After work.  And maybe start planning that 20th Wedding Anniversary vacation ~ because that happens this year, too.  Wouldn't that be loverly...

I caught these geese gliding by the kitchen window early this AM as I prepared breakfast for Cry Baby Ranch (aka A-choo).  Her nickname is another story for another day.  

So, Mornin' Peeps!

Why I'm Here

My cell phone has made me a lazy photographer.

Facebook has made me a lazy writer.

A recent visit to a Georgia O'Keeffe exhibit inspired me to create this blog.  I'm not selling anything; not promoting anything.  This is my little space for me to just be me.  Relax a little already. 

Because at 58 and approaching age 60, Georgia got me thinking about how best to spend the rest of my time.  Holy moly time goes fast.  

I find I am beginning to instinctively take a few more chances.  I'm saying yes a little more often. I am worrying less about what others think of me and conversely listening to my own inner drummer more.  I want to travel more; there is so much out there I've yet to see...

I'm also giving myself permission to be selective as to how I spend my time and my energy ~ to surround myself with happy, positive and fun experiences and people.  I'm a little more outspoken and suffer fools less often.  Because I think I've earned the right to say no, too.  

So, come along on the ride if you want.  This is where I'll be starting my day ~ and maybe even ending my day ~ or checking in at noon.  It's my blog I can do whatever the hell I want.  ;-)  

And it is where I'll be greeting you each morning.  On that note ~~

Mornin' peeps!